Month: November 2013

  • And so begins the holiday Combat shopping....

    I am so glad I am planning on staying in for the holiday seasons. Today, it is Turkey Day already, I don't have to do any driving except to get BigE to work and back from work. But other than that, I need nothing more and I am boycotting Black Friday Sales 1000000%.

    But that didn't stop what happened today....I almost got in a fight and died from being shot. Ok I exaggerate but I could have. :-D

    I was driving to go get a bite to eat at Ikea and get some odds and ends I wanted for preparing a Turkey Day Feast.

    As I was in the left lane, and had been for over a mile, nearing the light where I was going to turn left in a double left turn light, when the guy in the car to the right and his front door was even with my front bumper got mad that I was blocking his Prius from being able to enter the left lane as it was his right, or so he though and even let me know by laying his hand on his horn and not letting up for a good 10 to 20 seconds.

    He got behind me, and being that I was in the car with WahEGGO,  I decided to take the longest line  so I could make sure that he got where he wanted to go faster. But that wasn't good enough for him, as he drove by me he was flipping me off and screaming at me. Only he didn't take the lane and let it go, he stopped just to the left of me 2 car lengths back. As we started to drive and turn he turned directly in front of me and then stopped in the middle of the turn lane with me out where I would get hit if a car came through the soon to be green light.

    I checked the left lane he had vacated and found that no other car was there so I swerved around his Prius. As I passed him his hand was waggling out the window showing of his finger and I could tell he was still yelling at me.

    This wasn't good enough for him. HE got right behind me, turned on his high beams, and followed me closer than needed.

    At this point I was boiling mad. I was going to stop, get out, walk over to his car and as he got out or opened his window I was wanting to jump and start pummeling him. At which point I am sure he would pull out his gun and shoot me dead (see I cold have died from being shot. :-D )

    As I realized that this would get me dead and I had WahEGGO in the car with me, I decided it was not in HIS best interest to see his mother shot to death so I took measures to loose this Prius man. So as I rolled through a couple of shopping center stop signs, and gunned it rudely past pedestrians so the Prius would get caught with people around I eluded this impending confrontation. I weaved around the parking lot and lost him. He drove off after another silver SUV that was leaving.

    WahE was frightened so we stayed in the car, watched this Prius drive off and then got out and hurried into the store.

    We ate a bite and played around looking at everything and finally got what we went in for and left.

    All I could think was....

    And so Holiday Combat Shopping begins.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

    I am thankful for all of you and to just be alive.

  • Resolution to my negative feelings

    I wrote here last night/yesterday for my own self to see if I can get a different perspective on what transpired in my conversation and I realize that it was a lot of little things that went into why I was so bothered by it all.

    You see, as I was growing up I didn't have a set of friends for life, I moved too often. By the time I was 5 I had lived in 6 different houses, only 3 of them were near each so I would know any one person. I did remember one kids, a guy. My mother watched him after kindergarten. And that was for a year when I was four to five. Then we moved to a different country and I went to a different school than the kids that lived in my neighborhood. So I didn't really make friends for a year. I played with no one at school as they were all from the same area and their parents worked for the embassy. And the kids in my area well it was hard to be friends with them so I would play with them, sort of an extra for games that were uneven but they all went to school together and played after school together.

    When I was 10 I moved to where my parents live now. There I didn't have anyone that would talk to me during school hours and after the kids in the area would only talk with me if none of the other kids from school weren't around. This was for the first 3 years at that house. After the first year I got a news paper route and did that so I knew this older guy, PW, because of collecting for the money. I would go into his house while his dad chatted and looked for the change to pay me. So this guy watched me grow from 10 up. He was 15 the first time I met him.

    The best thing that happened to me was to go to a high school out of the area I lived in so I didn't have all those people that knew me through those first 3 years to try to be friends with. During this time I made a few good friends. Some of them moved away and others were friends with PW so we were in the similar crowd of people.

    I realize my reaction was because I was hoping to have conversations of "remember when x, y or z happened" or other such conversations. But sadly he said some things that hurt my feelings.

    It was a little of both him being male and  not knowing how to be a bit more tactful and believing that I truly knew he was flirting with me. And it is a little of him being an ass. He always was an ass. Not a full blown hole  but just the donkey sort of one.

    Today, after thinking about it for a while and mulling it over before it really bothered me too much, I confronted him and asked point blank as I am apt to doing, what he meant by it all.

    He didn't have any intentions of hurting my feelings but he was sure that I knew I was good looking waaaaaayyyyyy back then.

    The other reason it bothered me is, I was a stupid teen. And some times my actions were different that I thought they were. I was as a teen not aware of the damage I left in my wake. While I always tried to conduct myself so as not to be thought of as a flirt or tease I have since heard that some people thought I was.

    Back then I was always cracking jokes but never at someone else's expense. I would tease but never something I thought the person would be bothered by. I was (and I have found out that a few people saw me in the same way) comic relief. That is how I cope with crowds and more people than those I am close to. As I have not really ever been close to anyone, outside my family, that is most people.

    So it is resolved. And I am now able to take what the person that I knew to be an ass is still one I know how to take his comments and maybe be able to get a few remember whens talked about.

    And thanks to him I have a scar from him but that is another story.

    Thanks to you both for giving me a good outside opinion this is why I still blog here in Xanga. :-)

  • An odd day feeling thingy going on.

    A few days ago I started a conversation with someone I knew from the time I was 10 and lost contact with him when I moved out of my house at 17 ish.

    In the beginning of the conversation it was just touching base, "What have you been doing? I've been a parent, working, raising kids", that sort of thing. I was getting into the wanting to walk down memory lane and find out what he thought of us and our antics when we were kids/teens/pre-adults sort of thing.

    He comments that he had a crush on me.

    I was floored. I would never have guessed it.

    I replied with something like wow I just thought you knew me as the annoying kid that delivered your dad's news paper and later on the comic relief. I was always just being silly and light sort of person. I liked to be witty, most of it was just in my own mind.

    He responded with, no you were hot most guys wanted to get with you.

    This kind of floored me that he thought I was hot. And as a teen I knew that there were a few guys that were just wanting me as if I was a conquest. (I am trying to word this nicely) But from him I never even thought this of him.

    I was most of the day racking my brain thinking of if I was just naïve  or if I just remembered things different. I thought of a few "remember when" sort of things that I thought we could laugh at but nothing that came to mind were signs that he had a crush. But before I could write and ask him how he showed his interest because I couldn't see it he wrote me something that well put me an a not so good of mood.

    Old friend, "SURE, You knew you were a hot tease. You knew I had wood for you. You can act all innocent and all but you were so much farther from that."

     

    This has me floored. I have always prided (and maybe this is where I went wrong) on making sure that I kept my actions from being different from others that I saw who were definite teases, girls that truly flaunted what they were given and could be really cruel. I am still floored. Looking back at who I was I know I was as a teen good looking but more than that not really. I wore jeans and t-shirts and things that were hand-me-downs from my brothers. So I didn't dress poorly. I can't think of why he would say something like that.

    What is also bothering me is....

    In my growing up because of all the moving from one state to another to a different country to a different state and never being in one place to make life long friends I was kind of hoping that this guy, who knew me probably the longest of anyone of those that I am not related to, I was hoping to get his perspective on out teen years, and it has made me sad. Those I new before I was 5 and remember we have talked and laughed about it but we are so far different from one another. Those that I knew from k-4th (5-9 years old) are just so different from me. Those that I knew in 5th and 6th ( this guy knew me but was 5 years older) never knew me I had no friends at school. In the next year I had no friends at a school as I was homeschooled and then high school. I have a few that I have talked to about it but most of those I knew were just guys and their wives well didn't like me in high school (I had mostly guy friends and was one of the guys so would go out tubing or to parties with them) and so they have carried that over to now.

    I guess I would just like someone to talk to about who I was then to get a different perspective on that and maybe it would shed new light on me so I can learn from my past.

     

  • Yeeesh How does time fly so fast?

    So much has happened and so little at the same time.

    • MidE has only called about once every 2 weeks and I still have as of yet to get a call through to him.
    • BigE likes his job. He has been working on the cash register most of the time and he gets paid 1.50 more an hour for that. He has been put on in record time. I am told by someone he works with that they have been waiting to be put on for almost 6 months and he still isn't on  the register. The guy is a bit jealous of BigE for this.
    • LilE has has a few episodes where he just took off and was gone for a few hours because he was upset. Little did he know I followed him and knew exactly where he was all the time. He got quite a ways away. The main problem with this is...he is talking to people he shouldn't. The one thing that has him too scared to go farther is, there is a homeless guy that has started hanging around our area and screams at him when he sees LilE.
    • WahE is still doing ok. He is trying to do what LilE does but I don't let him. He is mad he doesn't have the same privileges that LilE does. I keep telling him he will earn it if he wants by doing x, y, and z. The same thing that LilE had to learn to do to get his freedoms.
    • As for me...I have had a few disappointments and a few things that have been good.
      Disappointment was...there was a 4 bedroom 3 1/2 bath a mile from all the stores I frequent that was on foreclosure auction. I wanted someone to bid on it for the starting price and maybe a bit more. It ended up selling for 73,000 (it originally sold for 398,000). Property tax was 2,750 a year which would be no problem. When I looked at it it had everything and was move-in-able. The last people even left front-load washers and dryers, fridge (double doors on top and pull freezer on bottom) new oven (year old), and highest quality dishwasher. I was so sad that no one I knew would bid on it so I could move my kids to a better area. The best part of this one was.... a few people I know live within 3 miles of the house. One lives 2 blocks away. The schools in the area are good and close for the kids to go to and I could get a job at one of the stores that is near and walk to work.
      The Good things have been. 1. My kids have been so much fun and supportive of one  another when they aren't thinking about trying to not like each other. 2. Today it rained and was so nice to hear it pelting down and sit and watch it rain. 3. I think I am a bit closer to being able to get the boys room and my area cleaned up and fixed the way I want them to be fixed.4. I have xanga
  • Wow how is it that time flies so fast.

    Each year around my birthday I always look back and try and remember the good, learn from the mistakes and just grow as a person. This year that has been hard. I have spent the year tired and fed up with a lot of things. I have been more concerned with what I want to be when I grow up and I just want to be a better person.

    Things I have learned over they years...don't stress about the crap but enjoy the good and remember it. Listen to someone you respect that is older than you they usually either have been through some of the things you have or similar things. Hug and love on your kids they grow way too fast and if they focus on the negative in spite of them professing hatred to you they will come to you still because they know you love them NO MATTER WHAT. Never give up hope on the ones that you feel that you can't reach because some of your words will sink in and when they act on those words you will be blessed. Stop being so hard on yourself for mistakes, if you have asked for forgiveness from those that you have hurt, stop beating yourself up for being human. Love often, forgive even when you don't want to and treasure the small bits of amazing, the bigger bits of good and the loads of love that surround you.

    Now on to some good news....

    We are alive and I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. :-D This year I won't be over doing it like I did last year. This year is going to be simple. I hope we get the passports for the kids.

    How are you all?

  • Another Year...

    I have been a year older for one day. Not sure if I like this aging thing but it is better than the alternative.

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