February 6, 2014

• Dear youth,

  I remember 15.

  I remember 16 and 17.

  When I was that young I was so much different from those around me. I knew who I was. I had been through more than most 15, 16, and 17 year olds. Not as much as some other ones I knew but I knew a lot of hardships. And in spite of them I was self assured. I was aware of my faults and knew that I was more than the faults. Even more than that…I didn’t much care what others thought of me as long as I liked myself. AND I really did. I loved that I looked back on the past and knew that all of it, the good and the bad had cause me to be the person that I was then. I knew that it was up to ME to make life better than the sum of all my hardships.

  Those hardships were of the similar bent that you have. I didn’t have friends that I grew up with because I moved from state to state and country to country about every 5 years. Because this was before internet I didn’t have an instant way of keeping up with others, and as I was horrid at writing (yes HORRID no spell check and poor penmanship) I think I wrote 2 letters to those I knew after each move. To make matters worse, each place had different sets of rules, the way of life that was in Rural Colo wasn’t the same as in CR. The way people related and acted in CR didn’t apply to Minn. In Minn. they differed drastically from BKFD.  And so on and so forth.

  I also didn’t have stylish clothes or gadgets like the other kids. I didn’t relate well unless playing sports.

  It was all that combined that made me who I was then as well as who I am now.

  Now, I remember every step of the way. I remember the good and the bad. I won’t ever forget, but….

  It is the good that I try and hold on to. It is the good that encourages me on. It is the good that if I remember (and YES I FORGET TO) focus on will remind me of the good that I can put out. Those that were kind and good to me made so much of a bigger impression on me than those that did bad, I know that if I focus on doing good and making good of my life in spite of my circumstances, it will in the long run make a difference to each person I come in contact with.

  I write this to you because I see the road you are starting on and I hope to make a difference. You see for a few years I have had a really hard time focusing on the good because of so much pain in me. I try really hard to focus on the good from the past as well as from the present. And it is a hard road. Now from my perspective I can see that you are very young and have a choice to walk the lazy way or the harder road and let me tell you, the harder road may look hard but if you stick to it now it will make your life easier later on.

  To be more clear…. you think taking the job and not going to school now will be easier but it won’t.  You think that sticking with this person you are dating that is hard to get along with is better because you love them and vice versa.

  I wish I had stayed in school. After a few years of being out of school, it is really hard to get back into the habit of studying. It is hard to focus on what is needed. As you are a great student and money isn’t an issue with you, stay in school and take a part time job if you want but stay in school.

  As for the ”love of your life”… they will understand the importance of working hard and trying to achieve a goal that will make you happy and a better person for it. If they love you than they will help you get to do the things in life that make you happy. One of the hardest things in life is to be in a relationship just so you don’t feel alone anymore. It is even worse if that relationship is toxic and makes you depressed and sad most of the time.

  You are too young to think that nothing better will come of your life. You have so much to live for. You have so much to offer.

  And if you think “well MahEGGO  did all x, y and z, then listen to me. I live the consequences of taking the easy road and doing as little as possible when I was young. I wouldn’t change it only because I love my kids but my life is on hold. My life is a hard one now because of taking the easy way early on. I will continue to work hard for a long time and these are the years I should be taking it easier and easier and not having to have thought of the next years because I should have worked and stored up for my older years.

  I hope this helps you.

  I hope you can see that I write this out of the love for you and your youth. The good thing about being young, is you have few mistakes at this age and have less to regret. Live life with few regrets. Take stock of your life, figure out what makes  you happy now. Study hard and play hard and change your mind about what you want to be when   you grow up but try your hardest. Be in control of your life  not life in control of you. Learn to let those things that you can’t control to not bother you and make your life good for you. And most of all….

  LOVE SHOULD NEVER MAKE YOU UNHAPPY AND MISERABLE. It should make you want to be a better person for the love of a good companion. It should bring out the best in you as well as the best in them.

  Love always,

  MahEGGO

  • 4:03 am
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