everywhere but in my house, The living space is messy. The kids are behaving like they were born in the dark ages and I just don't want to decorate the house just yet......

this is a change from what I was feeling a week ago. A week ago if I had the help I would have decked this house out better than I have ever done a house....ever. Seriously!!!!!

But the gifts are wrapped.

The only thing I really wanted to get for WahE this year was a coat like Dr. Who's matt smith and that isn't happening this year. I guess I should find out if I can make one now that I bought my sewing table for the garage.  

In other news, LilE has been each few years he deciedes he wants to change his name, first it was Cody, then it was Connor and now Tekurinmoto. I know where he got Cody and Connor but the last one I have no clue. Oh well.

For the first year I am not prepared. Usually I have the gifts bought and wrapped waiting for the day....this year. NOPE.

I can't think of anything to buy for each of the kids, I have a few for BigE (although I don't know if he will like them), I have one for MidE, and one for LilE but as for WahE I know what he would love but have as of yet to go and get it. I am hoping to get out next week and get it. I need to remember because till I started to write this I had forgotten. For christmas I am needing to buy him 3 bowties. A red one a blue one and a standard black. The thin kind like Dr who wears. The kind he can learn to tie. He has been learning to tie his own necktie but he is wanting the bow tie. If I could, I would buy him a Jacket like Matt Smith wears in this incarnation of Dr. Who.

We'll see.

Just a few days and then CHRISTMAS.

Next is decorating with kids and we are set.

I love to gift annonymous people so redditgifts is rigt up my alley. I signed up for the christmas secret santa and have been looking forward to it. I spent time going through loads of profiles and seeing the way people describe who they are and seeing the gifts they got.

I waited as patiently as I could, and behold the day arrived where I could retrieve my giftee. I open up the page and waited forever as those half seconds ticked by and revealed my person....

I read this, "I am a a poor college freshman so I will love anything you send. I mean anything".

I got no clue what to do, so I went to their profile only to find it says, "College freshman just in town from a rural farm."

Ok, I thougt to myself I'll get this person so cool clothes. I sent them a private message asking  them to reply with size favorite things so I could know if they liked or disliked well anything.  

I waited a few days and no answer. I Private messaged again for at least clothes size. 

Nothing.

So being that this needed to be done before a certain dated, I started to think what to do. I got this brilliant idea, I found a plastic farm animals, a box and some soil as well as alfalpha seeds. I wrapped it in a tshirt that cost me nothing in a size Medium just so it will fit either a little bit too tight or a bit loose. Either way they got a shirt for washing day. I thought it was funny. I had nothing to work with but I was chatting with someone and told them what I did and was told that was crummy.

So  tomorrow I will go and get a safeway gift card and send it to the person because I was told what I did was crappy and now I feel bad.

On the other end I wrote a long list of things I like and dislike and how much I look forward to exploring more in different areas of life, games and  things that are fun. My  gift came and it was all I hoped for. We got the table game dominion. I am thrilled. I can't wait till the boys get their schoolwork done so we can play the game tomorrow or tuesday or we will wait till next Saturday and play, post photos and enjoy life.

One of my neighbors, she walks outside and is the sweetest person, told me today her husband died 2 months ago.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has seemed very oblivious to all around her and the kids always try and say Hi but she has ignored them. Now I know why!!!!

I hope that she will come over and will let me around her so that she can just adjust to life. She told me all she does is get up, eat a little, dress for walking and she walks and walks till she is dead tired and then she goes to sleep. That is the only way she can sleep. She has a son but I have never seen him, he lives with her but I have never seen him. Her husband was an introvert as well so not seeing him for over 2 months is nothing new. 

• Terry was nearing the end of her life.
• My kids would be annoying sometimes.
• my BigE would be gone longer than 3 weeks.
• living away from everyone I knew would be hard.
• my kids would be one of my sources of joy.

What I didn't know was...

• Terry would tell her whole family about us and tell how amazing my kids were far and wide.
• my kids would need to move far away from each other
• my BigE would be gone over 7 weeks.
• I would find it so hard to make friends.
• my kids would try my patience as much as they can.

I have spent a few days talking to Terry's family, they all said the same things over and over again.....Thank you for being the best part of Aunt Terry's life in the last 5 years of her life. She spoke very highly of you and your kids, even as if they were her own grand-babies. She would always tell us that her grand-babies were sick or over to visit or living too far away. She talked to them about wishing that her grand-babies had a better place to live and she tracked all the violence around us and worried about us being here.

Her nephew is now trying to get their dad a consulting job on the side that may make him close to 50,000 if all goes well. As he said, "That should get you a good down on a decent place to live and get out of that violent area".

Her other Nephew wants to work with my boys on getting into college if at all possible. So we shall see what comes of this.

The nephew that I met is now emailing and calling me, he comes into Sandy EGGO about 2 times a year and now he plans on meeting me each time (with the kids and even E) just to chat about his Aunt. I have made a new friend.

It is with a heavy heart that I had to tell my wee little men....

Our first friend in SandyEGGO that we all hung out with, Terry, has passed away.

She would have been 90 on Wednesday. 

Saturday we picked up MidE from his father and WahE wanted to go and visit Terry. Sadly E had to use the car and we weren't able to get there. I was able to get the car on Sunday and we tried to get to see her....except her phone was not connected.

It seems that she passed away on Saturday. She asked for no memorial, no funeral and her body donated to science. She is now being used for the SDMedical School. She was loved very dearly by her nephews and everyone she knew.

I WILL MISS HER.

Last week was thanksgiving. This week has been a long one. It has been long because I spent my money on thanksgiving and had nothing left for the black Friday or cyber Monday sales. Good thing, the things I was wanting to purchase for the kids for Christmas all are cheaper this coming week than they were on those two days.

BigE is working and working hard. I think the last 3+ weeks for him have been really good. He has always been able to make decisions and his money decisions have been sound all along but he hasn't had a full time job ever with a good paycheck. I am hoping that with the work he has been doing it will either get him off his butt to go to school or get a job.

The part of the BigE thing that bothers me is....he took a few classes to just get his bearings in school and get back into the swing of things. He finished the work faster than anyone else and got the highest grade. With that he was excited to do the work and then he had to wait a few months. By the time the wait was done he had lost his momentum and didn't re-enroll to take classes.

WahE and LilE are still a tad sick. I wish this whole thing would go away and they would just stay better. The get to the point of health and then E feeds them sugary things on the weekends and they go back down to not being well.

MidE comes home tomorrow. I am excited.

So the christmas list for this year...

A new place to live, close to a good enough school for the boys.

A car that I can afford the gas for.

A job for BigE and even one for me.

And for the kids....

MidE wants a specific replica of a sword for cosplay. A good watch like the one he lost.

LilE wants an art set. Easel, paints, brushes, markers, good paper. A good piece of wood to carve his own wand out of. A good fedora.

WahE wants one of everything that everyone else wants but realistically... a watch, a wooden short sword. 

BigE wants socks he loves socks but he is hard to fit he wears a size 14.

My BigEGGO has been gone for three weeks....I:miss him loads. I have been trying not to call him so he can have time away doing the adult thing...working a job. Getting payed decent money, and he has finally called, he missed me.

MidE called me today while at his fathers, he wants to come home, he is bored. 

It is nice to know I am missed by my young men.

As a younger mom I always imagined myself on holidays with my boys and their families coming around and wanting to be here on the holiday. I saw them bringing their kids around and all because I had traditions that had been made fun over the years. I had things I wanted to do so that my family would always want that around, and as the years went by they would spend less time around my house and more time inviting the family around, each taking turns with whos house we went to each year....but that wasn't till much later in life.

This year found me in my kitchen, alone, no sons helping, no man of the house to help, and me bopping around. At one point I put on the Muppet Movie, and found myself singing and dancing to Amy Adams singing, "It's a me partay. A party just for me" and giggling to myself. The picture of me alone in the house and kitchen is so different from the vision of my future I had.

My kids were all spread out. I think this will be more to what will end up happening

I hope this day finds you surrounded with love, family and those close that you can call friends.This has been my most empty Thanksfiving...empty of kids and loved ones. BigE is up in central cali, MidEggo is with his father, that jst leaves me with the wee little eggos and E, but E is watching tv, football and all with headphones on. The wee little eggos are outside running around and I am in the kitchen doing the cooking.

Itsa cooking me dance party