On monday WahE had his last visit to the Dentist. The person that attended his teeth was the best so far. She was gentle and thourough  as well a cautious to do more than was needed. She was surprised at the work that was done so far as the X-rays showed that they didnt need as much work as was ordered.

Today, still tuesday for another 10 minutes, we had an appointment for WahEnto see an orthodontist. The one that works in tandem with the dentist said he needed loads of things done. The one we went to see today said he didnt need that much work. He doesnt need the work to start till about 6 months from now or more.

As for LilE the Orthodontist saw his teeth and asked if he was ready to get started with his teeth. We will see. We didnt expect this even though his teeth are crooked.

Over and above this, BigE needs a different job, he is working the fry station and he keeps getting burned. Daily he comes home with a new burn on his hands.

And for me I am almost done with the workshop. I have learned a lot about me and responses I have....I hope to continue to grow and move forward with my life and do so in a healthy manner.

Yesterday I got fed up with my messy floors so I did something drastic. I.CLEANED. Not only did I clean it I swept, mopped and then used the hard floor steam cleaner I own. I wen over that floor till the water looked mostly clean. It took me 2 hours of goingover and over it till it was like swimming in a clean lake. Now my kitchen and dinining room floors are mostly clean. Mostly clean because kids have come back into the house.

After I was done cleaning I realized I had half an hour befor needing to get the three guys to the feed.  Got ready and jumped into the car, LilE didnt want to go even though I said I wanted to do something fun with the wee little boys.

Dropped off the bigger kids, BigE said he didn't want to say the whole time (feed from 6 to 9) and please be ready to pick them up before the end.

Off I went with WahE. We went to Carls Jr to eat as I was too hungry to wait for me to cook for myself and anyway I didn't want to mess up my clean kitchen.

We ate, did a bit of needed shopping and the kids were done. They were done at 8:45

I am told it was worth the $15 and $10 for the 17 and younger (KND and MidE).

On the list of eats was 3 meat chili (dear, antelope, and elk), elk stuffed Mushrooms (this was the best), rabbit stew, duck soup, elk deer antelope jerky, antelope sausage, fresh caught bluefin tuna, and  a few other things. What I didn't know was it was a silent auction. On the auction block was a pedigreed dog General Patton's offspring. BigE wanted so much to be able to bid but he didn't want to get his hopes up AND he didn't have enough to get it and keep it healthy off the bat. Other things being auctioned were 2 to 5 day fishing trips on private boats, hunting trips with all things provided, archery supplies including bow (really good one), and well there were 25 different auctions.

The boys got out and the firs thing out of their mouths was, "I want to go back next year, it is an anual thing. Only next year I want to make sure that we get first in line there were so many things we missed out on because of being so far back in line."

KND said he is going to talk some of his friends into   going next year.

MidE is sad because he won't be here for next year, he is bummed and sad. He is rethinking his decision to move with his father to Texas. He told KND during the dinner he is just not trying to make frriends because he knows he will have to leave them. 

So to recap, kitchen is clean, and the food was superb. Beyond superb. The last think KND and BIGE both said to me was the stuffed mushroom was worth the $10/$15 paid for the ticket. 

As you all know WahEGGO has been having tooth work done. Well we are not done yet, we had to postpone his 3rd and final treatment. He had a longer recovery and just couldn't brave the dentist so soon after the trama and then he got a cold. So the final will be next monday.

In other news BigE, MidE and KND will be going out to a Wild Game Feed. It is supposed to be all you can eat elk, deer, antelope, rabbit and potato bar.I wish I could go but sadly it is men and men only night.

Day TWO Of tooth treatment. It went horribly. The Dentist didn't deaden any of his gums before jabbing a small needle in his gums over and over again. And then went straigtht into doing the work. It was horrible for him. He cried through it as I talked him through deep breathing to calm down, it helped but only a little.

Just when we thougt it was over, they decieded to notify me that he won't be getting the teet holding replacements but they want tondo the 2013 version of head gear. So till further notice he is missing those teeth.

Fortunately he has me and I know how to get his pain to go away from these procedures and he is feeling much better. Sadly, because of this, he wants to find a new dentist....I agree with this only after I insist he get the temp teeth put in so he can chew.

and what a week it has been.  I am still going to the classes on inner healing and learning loads.

In kid news..

BigE has been working the early morning shift. He gets up at 4 amish and gets to work by 5 ish. He doesn't like the hours but they are training him for maintenance at the Jack-In-The-Box. He is getting a few days off but not the  ones he wants.

MidE is home from lubbock texas and he doesn't like it there but is told that he can't change his mind so he is sucking it up and going to move in time for the new school year. I just hope he changes his mind.

LilE is doing well, he just has his moments.

WahE has just found out that his mouth pain is because the roots of 3 of his molars have rotted out, so he is having  to have 3 teeth pulled. We are all surprised because he had no signs of cavities and then one day...seriously one day to the next he lost half a tooth in 2 places. They rotted from the inside out. He is day 1 into the treatment. He has 2 more days. He will be fine.

This will be week 6 in the 10 week thing. I have been able to pull out a few really amazing thigs from the workshop. 

LilE and I have had some amazing talks about life and coping with all that is thrown at us. We have made a breakthrough with some issues we both have been having.

Now as for the job and BigE, he got the job at Jack-in-the-Box or JIB. I am glad that I didn't raise a stink like I wanted to.

In other news, I have rant about the trash blowing around my area because of half sized trash dumpsters and the same amount of people that have always lived here.

LilE lost 2 teeth in a week and he has 3 more loose teeth. 

It has been brought to my attention that LilE has a missing tooth. As in one that never came in. How did this come about? Well, when he lost a tooth he had another that had grown behind it on one side (the eye tooth) and on the other side it is missing.

I am freaking out about MidE. He said last night he wanted to come home, but he had made an agreement with his father to help in the move to Lubbock Texas and cant come home till next monday. Oh, they still dont have an address yet. Why? I don't know but maybe it has to do with he never went over to get a place before the move or it may have to do with horrid creddit or it may have to do with..... 

While I am not perfect I have realized that I have been so pissed off about the whole   MidE thing and all that his father does, each time I get to the point I can accept what is happening he does something more and then another thing and another thing to the point that I have not been able to get over and move past all the manure.

WahE is a constant cuteness as is LilE

I realize more and more how isolated I have been. Internet is all fun and games and great people like yourselves but that doesn't make up for the lack of connection with other humans.

It is odd for me in the inner-healing class being that all the other women in the class are either married or know other ladies in the class. So I end up sitting alone and not really able to enter conversations as they are about things I have not been involved in. But there are 2 ladies that seem to want to reach out and talk with me. They take time to chat a little bit. Like all conversations I have had recently someone else comes up and the edges me out.

I feel invisible again.

This is just frustrating and causes me to want to leave, not only leave but not come back. I have related this to the group and they all insist that I don't leave, but if my own feelings of being invisible to the group, the group that is supposed to listen to me, advise me and generally support me, then I need to go to another group.

Sadly, it has been so long since i really had a person to talk to so I am filled with wanting to talk and talk and talk more than I ever have been.

Or I am being kind to myself.

It was brought to my attention by my own self that I am needing work. Not just self work but professional work. So I have embarked on a journey of healing of the inner me.

I am doing a 10 week inner healing workshop with trained professionals and people like myself that have been hurt over the years by specific choices I/we have made. That is where I have been. And why I have not been writing much.

For the last 2 weeks I have been doing a lot of helpful work on me and it has been hard to find the time to do the homework so that I can experience the full healing to the little me inside.  I realized that for me to be able to move forward, get a job, a new place and all that it would be best to be as healthy as I can possibly  be. In spite of the time constraints and that sort of thing the journey has been good for me. I think I am growing...and maybe I will be able to do things like call friends far off and have a  great conversation like I used to.

I have also had a son turn 21 as well as with him working almost full time I don't have his help with the wee lil lads. He not only has been working a temp job he is getting ready to start work for a fast food place. He is so amazing and I am hoping that someone will inspire him to, while working nights, go back to school and get a better job, one that he likes and isn't just settling for.