There are some days, I just am bursting with inspiration and when I sit down to write nothing comes out. 

for the last few years living here is SD, I have been struggling with things related to MidE and his visitation. It seems that time and time again he ends up getting the short stick. What he wants and what happens are two different things. Then he has asked me not to fight with his father, this doesn't mean we fight it just means that we disagree and MidE is made to feel horrid about it when he is at his father's house, and just go along with what he asks for. This means that MidE gets less and less what a kid needs. 

So for MidE's birthday in July I told him that all things related to this situation was his decision and if he wanted to he could go to live with his father, that way he could finally find his own friends at his school and hang out with those friends so he could learn how to do kid things before he turns 18 and has to start being more of an adult.
MidE didn't want to, he said he wanted to live with me and just visit  his dad when he wanted. To which I said was fine only he needs to stand up and tell his father what he wants as well as me. What he said would go as far as I was concerned. But he wouldn't. He won't stand up to either of us and say what he needs. As I have been trying to get visitation to be on MidE 's  terms for quite some time and the more I say something needed to be done nothing has happened for the best of MidE.

Till today. MidE stood up and told his father, with me there as well as several other adults, what he wanted and his father gave in a little. MidE didn't tell him ALL of what the wanted but he stood up and did what he needed to do. I think he has found his voice.

I am watching him walk a little taller today because of this. He is more self assured than normal. AND the best thing he is smiling because he stood up for himself against someone that he loves but has been bullied by for years.

My inner pleading have been answered.

So as of now, he is going to be home when he wants and it is on his terms. He now feels like he is in a bit more control of his own life than ever and this IS a good thing. 

Here in xanga we have all had our times of ups and downs. The thing I am most thankful for is that you have all been there, to love (or at least like) me, pray for or just be there and listen, give advise and other such things. I am truly greatfulfor all you have done to keep me focused on the good in life. Thank you.

Now I know a few that are just going through the worst time anyone could possibly imagine and I am awed how you do it.

My life isn't all fun and games, I live at a house I know I am not welcome at, my kids are not cared for by their father and it is showing and I am still unable to get a job. Last phone interview I did they told me that I didn't fit their criteria....I didn't have enough education, and moreover when push comes to shove they really need someone that can put their job first not their family. !?!?!?!?! 

I have no car and don't think I will be getting one any time soon but in spite of all that is wrong  with my life, yes there is tons more wrong or what have you, this site, xanga alterEGGO, has given  me the ability to remember to look past my bads and look at the amazings in my life. 

My kids are each amazing. In spite of the fact that they all seem to take turns testing my patience, angry with me or just down right know-it-alls, I see how amazing and wonderful they are. I am able to go out and look at the world below where I live and see the beauty there. I have taken up painting or drawing little bits around me, my  kids, a leaf, view from my house, the piles of my boxes in the  garage and writing a little.  In this I am able to focus on the good and great and amazing.

My hope for you all is if you are going through anything hard that you will find that thing that helps you focus on the amazing around you. Even if it is just for a little while it helps.

Before BigEGGO was born I worked at a fish market in MB. My job was to sell fish and advise people how to cook it or what would go well with.. When no customers were around I spent my time  sweeping, mopping, washing serving trays, going over time cards  and making coffee for the fishermen as they came in from their fishing trips.

When all my work was done I would sit and trade stories with the tars. Some of the men were from MB, but most of them followed the fish. These men would follow the fishing from Alaska in the summer, to Central America in the winter. They would pass by selling fish in the spring and fall. They were quiet and if drawn out could tell tales better than anyone I have ever met. One story comes to mind it was told to me by the shady Captain John Ahab.

Here it is...

They had been out at sea for a few weeks and it was nearing sunset. The 5 man crew was on deck cleaning up the gear while Cappy was in and out of the steering house checking on the weather, direction, adjusting the course of the 35 ft boat. "forecast for the nest few days , Sunny with the highs ....."

Cappy Strolled out to the deck, glanced over the beautiful ocean expanse, breathed in the air and headed over to check the progress and help out. Glancing back out to the horizon and feeling  complete freedom, Cappy noted some clouds. he went on doing what he needed. A few minutes later he glanced back over the sea to watch the sun touch the water, one of the simple joys he lived for, only to see clouds looming over the expanse.

A sailor that spends as much time  at sea as Cappy did knows the look of each cloud and how threatening it will be. This cloud coming ever nearer was threatening a large storm.

Realizing this big storm was on the way and fast, he clicked into gear. Barking out orders, "tie everything down. Put the things inside that we can't! NOW NOW NOW."

"Seal the fish hold!"

Looking back at the storm, it was almost upon them, he quickened his pace.

No more than 20 minutes later the storm hit. Cappy and all the crew were inside and they knew they were safe.

The storm raged for several days and took them way off course.

When it was over they knew what to do.

First things first....Inventory must be taken. Everything  from tackle, fuel, food and if the fish in the hold had spoiled. At the end of inventory they knew that if they didn't go at the right speed they would NOT make it home.

Next morning, 6 am and the sun was just barely up and shinning brightly,the day promised to be clear. Clean up was just what they needed after being cooped up together for so many days. 

Around noon just after they had cleaned out the fish hold, Cappy was standing near the mast to climb up to the crows nest, something he loved to do, the nearest thing to flying in his mind. As he grabbed hold of the rope he noticed a dead calm creeping over the ocean, "just like a lake, and undisturbed lake, glassy and calm" and slowly a fog rising up. Cappy though he saw and old, old  sailing ship in the haze. The whole crew stopped what they were doing making it as silent and dead as a tomb.

Minutes ticked by. It seemed like hours.

Slowly it dawned on Cappy that some time in the stillness an indistinct chant had begun. Not from himself or his crew but it surrounded the fishing rig.

Through the fog He could see the ship he had seen earlier close to his. As it drew up alongside, ten or fifteen of the most unsavory lot of men and women boarded. Cappy and men were tied up as the pirates took everything; food, tackle,  radios, sonar equipment, beer, liquor and fuel.

The stench of the pirates, the language and their look was so fierce each of the crew wondered if they would be killed. With one look each knew what the other was thinking, the unspoken  look that passed between each helped Cappy resolve to do anything to make sure his men as well as himself make it back to home.

Much to their relief they were they  were left alone other than the rough treatment while being tied up.

THEY WERE SAFE!!!

After a while of not hearing the pirating lot, Cappy started to work at the bonds and was able to get loose. Cautiously, they opened the door and moved around the rig. As they were peering over the side of the ship they saw they swear they saw the ship sailing off the horizon.

Cappy described it like this....

"You know that part in the animated Peter Pan where Wendy comments to her parents about how well "he" sails the ship and the parents look out the window and see the ship fly in front of the moon? Well it  was exactly like that!"

Cappy and crew just watched the  pirates sail off till they couldn't see anything and slowly each person walked off to "just be".

The next weeks found them fishing and eating some of what they caught to survive. They found  some old canvas, patched up the holes and rigged it up: a sail of sorts. 

They were able to get in range and met up with another fishing boat. This rig helped them get into our dock. They all looked half starved and haunted, but after a few meals and a dozen or so pots of coffee made by me the were ready for the open seas again.

~~~~~~~~~

Cappy stopped by a the next few springs and falls (with just one or two from that crew) that I worked there but thier stories were very reluctant to be told. I was one of the few they would Socialize with.

After I was fired I heard they asked after me for the next few years and when I didn't return they quit selling to the old shop.

It started with me waking up to a rainy day, laundry needing to be done so to the garage we went to set up our indoor laundry racks. I came back in, loaded up a basket for WahE to take out and hang while I load up another load of laundry and do other things around the house. On his way out he slipped and hit his nose on the edge of the basket.

Later on in the day he was out doing his school work in the garage. I came in to use the little girls room. Before I could use it properly, I heard a gut wrenching scream and in came a frightened LilE and a Pained WahE.

His arm looked out of shape.

He cried and cried while I tried to set up taking him to his Dr. Only to find out not only is the Dr too busy but the on call Dr was fully booked and they had over 15 people sitting in waiting for a chance to see the Dr. So please take him to XXXX. Oh wait, XXXXX doesn't have an x-ray machine so you need to go to the emergency room.

Nope not going to do that I told them if they couldn't see him they need to file the appropriate paper work making sure that he can be seen at Dr Xpress.

She hemmed and Hawed and I told her it WAS their job according to the insurance.

WahE still crying (at this point it was over an hour later) I was calling for E to come home to take us to the Dr. with him not answering his phones or textes or emails.

I finally went to KND's mom and asked her if she would drive us to the Dr. She immediately jumped up and said YES!!!

Off we went. 10 minutes later we were at Dr Xpress. 5 minutes later he was in triage (the nurse loved him and how "mature" he was).

Now we are at 2 hours after the injury, his arm scraped up and misshapen, his face scraped up, his other hand scraped up.

I finaly get the chance to finish what I had started before the accident.

I get back to the room to find the Dr. looking grim and worried. She says she think it is broken but we will do the x-ray just to make sure.

WahE is such a trooper and from the point we got into the car and started on the way to the Dr he had quit crying. He winces and blanches when his arm is touched but no crying. Off we went to the room for the x-ray.

X-raytech is the same guy that did the x-rays on LilE's toe a few weeks/month back.

He has WahE put his arm in different positions and hold while we x-ray. XRTech makes comment that it must not be broken because WahE isn't crying. I look at WahE and see his face is whiter than the wall behind him. I told the XRTech to not be so sure he isn't in pain.

XRTech, "WahE does your arm hurt?"

WahE, "Yeeeeesssss" very shakily. :-

XRTech, "Dude he is in so much pain!!!!"

X-rays done, looked at them no break but we have to wait for the Dr. So we were back to the room.

At this point 2 hours after calling E he is on his way to pick us up.

I told KND's mom she could leave is she wanted, E was on his way. I thanked her several times and she left.

Back to the room E showed up, I was standing in the hall and the Dr walks around the corner with a shocked face.

She walked up and says, I don't know how this happened but his arm is no broken. She put her hands gently on his arm and sure enough....she doesn't know how it happened but the part that felt broken to her (and me) isn't there. She wrapped up his arm, asked him to move it, we watched his face as the pain streaked across his face as he tried, and she decieded....it is sprained. Don't have him do much writing AT ALL. Don't let him use it for the first week. The second week a bit is ok. But don't take him bowling for at least a month!!!

WahE,"WHAT?!?!!?!?! Mom we were supposed to go bowling on Saturday for my birthday.!!!"

ME, "Well I guess we will have to just wait for a while. I promise we will still go."

Dr. "Its your birthday week, I am so sorry that you had to get hurt. I guess not having a broken arm is a good birthday present."

And off we were, to get a few things at store and then to home.

Here it is 24 hours after the injury happened and I am finaly processing it.

It all started with me going to use the restroom and LilE sneaking out of the house, wahE sitting in my office chair and the two of them taking turns spinning each other. Now I have no office chair for them to disobey me by sitting in.

It is a lazy day around here no school work for WahE other than the wee little bit he can do without having to move his arm. He is getting good at typing onehanded.

Possible WahEGGO may have broken his arm...

Update...sprained his arm

My day started out.... wait let me go back.... On Tuesday, MidEGGO's father called me, "MahEGGO, on Saturday at 7:30 am he, MidEGGO, needed to be at XXXXXXXX High School for testing. This meant that I need to be up at 530 am to drive kid to get him there early enough to take the PSAT. Since that is too early for you why don't you leave MidEGGO here with me and then pick him up on Sunday."

Not liking this, I have already gone a week without my son with me, told him to let me think about it.

I called MidEGGO to find out what he wanted to do as well as calling E to find out if I could use his car on that day.

MidEGGO didn't want to spend that time away from me, and E said I could have the car.

So back to today.... I had to wake up at 5:30 am to get him to the school on time for the testing.

Getting up here we found out we were 45 minutes earlier than needed to be. The testing didn't really start till 8:15.

This left us with no one at the school so we went to Carls Jr. Got a drink, used their restrooms and drove back. People were just starting to arrive so he got out of the car and went in.

So here I sit in the car, waiting for 3 hours for his testing to be done. I mostly planned ahead. I packed my tablet to xanga and FB and Twitter on. I have my cell phone set up as a hotspot so I canget online. I have my multimedia paper for drawing, painiting, coloring on if I want to. I brought my keyboards to write some of the stories that have been ratttling around in my brain and I          want on paper/word docment.

What I forgot? I forgot water color pencils, drawing pencil. My travel watercolors. I forgot my keyboard to write easily on my tablet and I forgot my writing book that I keep all my stories I write in.

This sillieness brought to you from 2 hours of sleep me and my forgetful brain. Me and 6 am are not friend we never have been and I want my bed.

I made these for someone who signed up with redditgifts.com. I already received my gifts.

I have been missing playing in the dirt and coaxing things to grow so I have been playing in boxes so far this is what.

What a weekend. I always wish for the weekend and when they come I wish I didn't have one. But here is what I did this weekend.

1. I fixed my WahE's flat tire on his bike.
2. I almost finished putting together Tintin WahE's costume.
3. LilE is half way to having his costume made by me.
4. I fixed a Razor scooter for the bazillionth time.
5. I played a bit of video games with the kids.
6. Friday night we had a family game night. KND included.
7. I slept in today.
8. I swept the floors at least 3 times a day all weekend.
9. 5 loads of laundry.
10. Hung on the racks outside
11. Dishes 3 x's a day.
12. Fixed a few things around the garage.
13. Got mad.
14. And only left the house 2 times.

I guess for what should (I can always hope) have been a lazy weekend I did a few things.

How was your weekend?