A week and a few days ago, LilE had a few problems with AK. These problems were to the point he was avoiding going anywhere he thought AK would be. I allowed him a few days to adjust to his own thoughts and such. After giving him his space I was able to talk with him about expectations, reality and standing ones ground so as not to be walked over, or treated in such a way that he feels he has no options.

On Sunday, I took him around some of the kids he would see at the Mix and possibly interact with and I also knew that AK wouldn't be there.

LilE went, spent time with a few other kids and enjoyed himself. He spent a few other times with some other kids because part of his putting up with AK is because he feels like he has no other friends and he starts feeling bad about the things AK bags on him for.

I also talked with one of the adults that keeps an eye on the kids at The Mix and asked for just a few extra eyes on LilE when AK is around and just not look but to take in what he sees of the interaction.

FF to Wed night. The Mix night.

LilE made a point to run ahead of me and get into The Mix so I didn't check him in. I went off and did my thing.

When I got back, LilE was nowhere to be found but I did talke with the adult I had talked with before. He commented that he saw LilE pick up his things up and move a few tables away from AK. This happened several times.

LilE finally came out and we drove home. I left him alone till he wanted to talk... when he talked he did.

He said he got in early, picked the table he wanted to hang out with his friends at. Slowly the other kids came in, AK was the last of his friends.

The other kids came hung out and went of to do other things and then would come back. AK showed up when LilE and 2 other kids were talking. AK told those kids to get lost they were in HIS spot. So those kids including LilE got up and moved a few tables away.

AK sat surprised for a little bit and then moved over to the other table when the other kids went off to do other things.

LilE stayed and chatted with AK till he started being rude so LilE got up and moved back to the first table.

AK followed and asked him why he got up....

LilE responded, "I am giving up drama queens for lent!"

AK  seemed stunned then asked why LilE said that.

LilE explained that AK's behavior was inappropriate. Pulling his hair (AK pulling LilE's hair) was inappropriate and not fun.

AK said his sisters do it to him all the time and he found it playful.

LilE then said he didn't want to be called an idiot or stupid anymore and wasn't going to put up with is.

AK said he was just being silly and not to get so bent out of shape over that.

LilE brought up several other things that AK did which he "explained away" .

By the end of the night LilE was willing to allow AK to sit around him but he would move when AK would pull other "stunts" and LilE spend time with the other kids he is  becoming friends with. AK was more than asked to do things with them but refused.

When LilE was done telling me about his night I asked him if he accepted the explanations. He said while he doesn't believe what AK said, but he was not wanting  to exclude anyone. He wants to still be friend with AK because they are on the same level and like somethings the other kids don't like but he wants to have new friends so that AK knows he doesn't have to put up with crap from him.

My LilEGGO gave up Drama Queens for Lent.

Time just seems to get away from me. This year is almost worse than last year and I don't like it flying as fast as it does.

I have recently, two days ago, gotten a new tablet with a key pad that just makes me love being able to write again. As a matter of fact  I have been filled with loads of ideas to write about.

Last night I wrote out 2 amazing stories that were pure gold, then I woke up and realized it was a dream. The stories were still somewhat in my head but by the time I got out my stuff to write with....they had flitted out of my silly head.

Today, I have been trying to write a few things. It was interesting I was on my way to the store and some briliant things to write popped into my head. By the time I got parked and my pen and paper out to jot down the ideas...they too were gone. None of that goes to make me a happy camper. I want to get back into writing again.

I found a few of my short stories recently and have started the process of polishing them up a bit to see if they could be in a short story book or something.

I also found the poem of my father's that I was starting to illustrate and I need to get working on that as well.

So I have a lot of things I am wanting to do, sadly being a parent and making sure they do what they need to, like eat, wash, clean, school work and all those other mundane things take priority.

In other news....

• BigEGGO has once again been praised for his outstanding work at his job.
• MidE has a job and a girlfriend so he calls rarely
• LilE has dropped his friendship with AK due to AK getting LilE kicked out of a few of the online places I let him go. AK did so because LilE disagreed with him. Now he says he is going to try and make friends with other kids there (at the Mix= The mix is....a church has an area that they open for kids from the area to go and play games, do sports and other such things where they don't have their parents around but are still out of trouble and have adults that are supervising them) and try to get along with them so he has other friends that are not such jerks.
• WahE is still doing well. I am still trying to figure out how to channel his personality into a way to not bother his father and brothers. HE is one of those people that seems to need to be helping others but sadly others take it as him being a buttinski and they get mad at him for it.

And the last news....

I am starting up a women's get together sort of thing. It started out that one of the women that I did the inner healing thing with, wanted to spend some time without kids and not at work, so I suggested that we get together and maybe do a book to continue or healing journey. She agreed and liked the book I suggested. Last night she called me and informed me that she as 3 other people that are going to meet with us and do the book with us, and do I mind if I make sure we focus on it and do the work and maybe prepare a bit of something so I am leading it???

I agreed. I am ok with it....just going to take a bit of getting used to the idea. Funny thing is I just went to a leadership workshop a week prior and was wondering if I was cut out to be any kind of leader or what I should do. I went because it was a workshop on how we can effect change in our little environments for the better and such. At the end I didn't think I had much to do to make my realm better other than striving a bit harder to be a better parent. So I guess this little meeting is going to be a step and I can help these women to strive to better themselves a bit hopefully.

We will see.

The days have escaped me. Time has flown. I am now the mother of  22, 17, 12, and 10 year old boys. The time has just flown by.

LilE had his birthday and he had a blast. He got what he wanted and a bit more, he went to Boomers mini golf and rides place. He seemed to have a blast as he was able to go with a friend (I will call him AK because I found him so). After we went for pizza and then dropped his friend AK off and went our way home.

LilE went to bed a very happy boy but then.....

Sadly his little precious mind started working and his tummy got all in knots. He analyzed the whole day and found he was mad at AK and decided he didn't want to be friends with him. His tummy got in such knots that he ended up sick and puking. As he was recouping he started telling me things that AK did. I was upset. He is looking at cutting this kid out of his life completely. Sadly, I advised him to do the things this kid likes with him and find other friends as well.

I also told him that he needs to let the kid know he doesn't want this kid to do the things he did that bothered LilE.

One of the things that happened while out at Boomers, LilE comment on a girls shirt. She was wearing a Doctor Who shirt and he liked it. The other girls who were in line with their friend in front of LilE, WahE and AK. LilE and WahE chatted with them as the line moved. This upset AK so he told the girls that what they were talking about was stupid and he told LilE he was an idiot all the while pulling his hair. I didn't know this till too late.

This was just one of the things that AK did. WahE told me some of the things AK said to him about LilE as well as telling both that I was a horrible parent. I was trying to keep them from growing up. This is because I won't let my kids that are 10 and 12 play first person shooter that are either rated 17 or Mature.

So all this was weighing on LilE and on top of it he spent so much time running around and little eating decent food he got hungry, worked up, stressed out and sick.

To make matters worse, he was fearful of seeing AK and having to tell him that he was mad. Or any of the other things. He didn't want to have the confrontation.

He is over it and in a few days he will be spending time with AK. I hope he can grow from this. I hope that he can reach out and try to find other friends as well.

As for AK. I don't like him one bit. But  I don't know much about him. I do know he is from a bad family situation and he is also puberty hormonal kid. Not a good combo.  As for the way he treated LilE he is always bragging that girls like him but when they talked with my kids and not AK, I think he was jealous.

Sunday was a really good day for me.

• I was gifted a ticket to a small concert.
• I lost the ticket.
• When retraced my steps to look for it I ran into the people that were in charge of the concert.
• They remembered that I was gifted a ticket and said they had no problem replacing it, just show up at will call.
• On my way out of venue ran into a few women that I know and was able to chat with them a bit.
• Showed up at concert and met a few new people that they have seen me around but never had courage to chat with them.
• Had someone tell me they thought I would be great at something that I have thought about for a while and that if interested I should talk with XXXXXXXX.
• Need to find out who that is and talk with them.

My BigE, yesterday came out of his room and asked, "Mom are you needing to go to any store soon?"

"Yes," I responded, "I need to go to Sm&F."

"Can you take me to go with you I want to get something to eat."

So off we went. He took me to Joe's Crab Shack with WahEGGO.  He paid for the three of us to have a crab bucket, a couple of appetizers. Then when we were done we walked around the bay for a bit. Took some photos, stopped at a frozen yogurt shop for a light desert. Then off we went and headed back to the store and off to home. It was the best weekend for me in a long time.

Coming up this next weekend is LilE's 12th birthday. We have a few plans.

• BigEGGO while at work today noticed some of the ladies, they were working in the bank that is inside the store, looked miserable. When he was on his break  my amazing child went over and purchased 15 chocolate covered strawberries and gave them to the afore mentioned ladies. He said the rest of the day they were supper happy and so nice to all the rest of the customers.
• My MidEGGO went to a dance, had the best night of his life and now seems to have come out of his shell. The gal is going to go out with him again and they seem to be great friends.
• My WahEGGO has been doing most of his own laundry on his own and doing a good job.
• BigEGGO is now 22 and still as amazing as ever.
• I have several kids that I "adopted" as my own and now 4 of them are over 18, considered adults.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

Today I woke up and drove E to work so that WahE could participate in the pine box grand prix he had entered. We got him there in time and he went through the motions of practice runs and such. He was consistent 1st or 2nd for 8 runs. Then races began.

He placed 2nd, 2nd, 3rd and 2nd again. Sadly he didn't win. HE didn't win even second place there were just too many other competitors and they had more tools to have their cars made than I have here. He was a bit disappointed but then I pointed out we now have a year to perfect his car and get it made right so that next year his car can run faster. That made his day.

Then he realized.... the other kids have a year to do the same and he may not get that good.

At this point I reminded him that there were those that placed 3rd and 4th so he was above average in his car's runs.

He was happy once again.

In other news, BigE is turning 22 this month and LilE is going to be 12 this month as well. BigE has been getting a lot of extra hours for the last 2 weeks as well as next week. He was told that they can't schedule him for more hours till he has worked there for 6 months and he just started in the middle of October. Last week he worked 36 hours and was told he isn't supposed to work more than 32 till he has worked the 6 months.

They are waiting till that 6th month point to train him for all the other departments they want him trained for. Then when he has trained for those departments they want to start to train him for assistant manager . He has been asked as it is to do some of the duties of ass. mgr.

One of the ladies that has been there for 3 years was whining that she isn't being trained for anything like that. Then  when they said who it was we were talking about (BigE) the whiner said."Oh it is BigE I understand that now." quite calmly she walked off. He is a charmed kid.

Odd things about me....

• caffeine puts me to sleep in about an hour or less from drinking it. The more the sooner I go to sleep
• that is except till tonight. I can't sleep and I drank coffee.
• I am needing to find someone to talk to about a project I have been mulling over for about 2 years.
• I had a job offer till they saw me and then they didn't want to hire me
• I am glad I didn't get the job, it would have been not enough hours and I would have had to ride the bus for over 2 hours every day I worked.
• I am in need of some good water color paper that is standard paper size.
• I have 3 poems I am trying to illustrate for my father but I can't seem to find the time to just do the work.
• I am easily distracted
• I have decided to clean out the house as if I was going to move maybe I could get rid of some of my stuff.
• Why is it as soon as a person gets rid of something they rarely use they suddenly need said item.
• I figured out that I need to get back to writing the stories that have been rattling around in my head for some time.
• I miss the friends I have made on Xanga.
• I went through the first year of posts and I really used to write about eggos.
• Waffles with a variety of toppings sound so delicious right now.
• I can't seem to figure out how to get the time on my page to display the right time for me
• I lack motivation
• Or should I say I find it hard to take the time to work on any of my projects as the wee little 2 take up so much of my time.

I remember 15.

I remember 16 and 17.

When I was that young I was so much different from those around me. I knew who I was. I had been through more than most 15, 16, and 17 year olds. Not as much as some other ones I knew but I knew a lot of hardships. And in spite of them I was self assured. I was aware of my faults and knew that I was more than the faults. Even more than that...I didn't much care what others thought of me as long as I liked myself. AND I really did. I loved that I looked back on the past and knew that all of it, the good and the bad had cause me to be the person that I was then. I knew that it was up to ME to make life better than the sum of all my hardships.

Those hardships were of the similar bent that you have. I didn't have friends that I grew up with because I moved from state to state and country to country about every 5 years. Because this was before internet I didn't have an instant way of keeping up with others, and as I was horrid at writing (yes HORRID no spell check and poor penmanship) I think I wrote 2 letters to those I knew after each move. To make matters worse, each place had different sets of rules, the way of life that was in Rural Colo wasn't the same as in CR. The way people related and acted in CR didn't apply to Minn. In Minn. they differed drastically from BKFD.  And so on and so forth.

I also didn't have stylish clothes or gadgets like the other kids. I didn't relate well unless playing sports.

It was all that combined that made me who I was then as well as who I am now.

Now, I remember every step of the way. I remember the good and the bad. I won't ever forget, but....

It is the good that I try and hold on to. It is the good that encourages me on. It is the good that if I remember (and YES I FORGET TO) focus on will remind me of the good that I can put out. Those that were kind and good to me made so much of a bigger impression on me than those that did bad, I know that if I focus on doing good and making good of my life in spite of my circumstances, it will in the long run make a difference to each person I come in contact with.

I write this to you because I see the road you are starting on and I hope to make a difference. You see for a few years I have had a really hard time focusing on the good because of so much pain in me. I try really hard to focus on the good from the past as well as from the present. And it is a hard road. Now from my perspective I can see that you are very young and have a choice to walk the lazy way or the harder road and let me tell you, the harder road may look hard but if you stick to it now it will make your life easier later on.

To be more clear.... you think taking the job and not going to school now will be easier but it won't.  You think that sticking with this person you are dating that is hard to get along with is better because you love them and vice versa.

I wish I had stayed in school. After a few years of being out of school, it is really hard to get back into the habit of studying. It is hard to focus on what is needed. As you are a great student and money isn't an issue with you, stay in school and take a part time job if you want but stay in school.

As for the "love of your life"... they will understand the importance of working hard and trying to achieve a goal that will make you happy and a better person for it. If they love you than they will help you get to do the things in life that make you happy. One of the hardest things in life is to be in a relationship just so you don't feel alone anymore. It is even worse if that relationship is toxic and makes you depressed and sad most of the time.

You are too young to think that nothing better will come of your life. You have so much to live for. You have so much to offer.

And if you think "well MahEGGO  did all x, y and z, then listen to me. I live the consequences of taking the easy road and doing as little as possible when I was young. I wouldn't change it only because I love my kids but my life is on hold. My life is a hard one now because of taking the easy way early on. I will continue to work hard for a long time and these are the years I should be taking it easier and easier and not having to have thought of the next years because I should have worked and stored up for my older years.

I hope this helps you.

I hope you can see that I write this out of the love for you and your youth. The good thing about being young, is you have few mistakes at this age and have less to regret. Live life with few regrets. Take stock of your life, figure out what makes  you happy now. Study hard and play hard and change your mind about what you want to be when   you grow up but try your hardest. Be in control of your life  not life in control of you. Learn to let those things that you can't control to not bother you and make your life good for you. And most of all....

LOVE SHOULD NEVER MAKE YOU UNHAPPY AND MISERABLE. It should make you want to be a better person for the love of a good companion. It should bring out the best in you as well as the best in them.

Love always,

MahEGGO

It went by just too quick. MidE left and I have only heard from him one time since. He isn't answering his phone because (as he said on FB) he had it taken and it is only to be used if his work calls.

I guess he got a job. Not sure what as I can't seem to talk with him. This whole parenting thing is really hard when other parents are involved.

BigE has been working and working only 32 or less hours a month. It seems that they love him but are needing to cut back on everyone's hours. Thanks to the new health mandates on what employers are able to do. Other than this he is being trained to do loads of things: meat department, produce, returns and specialty sales, they are even talking that after he gets training in all departments to then be trained for assistant manager. He is making me so proud to he his mom.

MidE is getting good grades from what his teachers tell me. He is doing well in spite of his father trying to put in his oar and have his school work reduced because his father wants him to work at the "Church" for him as well as doing the job he has at the grocery store. The one thing I did find out is that he is not able to keep his money, his father is using it to help offset the cost of his future education. (biggest line of bs as if he did what I told him MidE could get continued education for almost free)

LilE is being a joy one day and then the biggest pain the next. He continues to be a big jerk to most people unless he is distracted. He is miserable and just wants something more. But sadly everything that he would be great at takes me having a car and I don't have one that I can use like that.

WahE is doing the same, he is always trying to help even though we tell him we want no help. I still have to figure out how to focus that bent in him.

As for me, I am at the tail end of a bad cold, I am frustrated with the lack of housing, jobs, and other such things that one needs to be able to better their lives. I hope to soon be able to report that things are going great. While I am waiting for something permanent I am in the process of figuring out how to do something else....it is top secret but if something comes of it I will let you all know.

This month is going to be another good one. Have a great day.....oh before I forget, How are you?

It has been quite a while since I have had the pleasure of writing here in xangaland 2.0. The last time I was preparing for Christmas with my MidEGGO coming home. So much happened.

MidE came home and was greeted by cheers and a few celebratory dinners, outings and other such fun frivolities. We had a great time when BigE was home and not working. My parents were planning on coming down for a few days after and I was ok with that. But then E got in a minor fender bender and had to get the Horseless carriage fixed so it would operate properly. While it was out at the auto body shop, we rented a car. This was ok except one thing....the car reeked of cigarette smoke and was horrid to get into. Much to my delight E harassed the shop on a daily basis so they fixed it faster than they originally said they would and we had the car back in record time. Upon turning in the rental I made the comment that it smelled horridly of smoke. Because of this they gave us a 20% off of the next rental we could get.

This gave me an idea.....

Instead of my parents driving down, staying in a hotel at 100 a night, why don't I drive up with the kids, stay at my parents and see all out friends we can. And the rental cost would be 50 a day so we could stay a bit longer.

I quickly called my parents, and tossed out this idea. They loved it. Especially my father. He loved it because he has a hard time getting around. One of his feet doesn't work properly from all the brain surgeries he has had over the years and on top of that he has had a few TIA (mini strokes). So we got the car, drove the 5   hours and spend 4 nights with them. We were able to see a few of our friends that hadn't left town for the holiday. IT was a whirlwind.

Day one, my brother T came up from LA, and my baby bro came over, we went out to eat and after see the new Hobbit Movie. (LOVED IT) I guess I would have loved it more if it had followed the story line a bit better. But I still love it. After movie my brother went home. We did a wee bit of shopping and then back to bed as we were gone that long.

Day two, woke up, played a few games, ate breakfast of seber cakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. Cleaned up, chatted with my parents. Kids went to eat with B and B as this is Tradition (I guess). After they got back from lunch we drove over to see my sis and her family. Gma and Gpa P were there. I got to meet A's husband, T's wee little boy ERB and the kids got to see their cousins and hang out. BigE and MidE went with the older kids to play pool. THEY had loads of fun. Then FGF (Fairy God Father) called and wanted to meet us for some food. So off we went to hang out with him and chat a bit. I miss our conversations, how silly he is and how much fun the kids have with him.

He left as I needed to get the kids back and to bed.

Day 3 I got a notice from the people I rented the car from informing me that they needed the car back before noon on Tues because they were closing early for New Years Eve. This news was a bummer as I needed to cut our visit short. So instead of staying till Tues and getting the car back by 5 we had to leave Monday. Drove back early evening of the 3rd day.

Since getting back it has been a bunch of kids getting sick, trying to get the school stuff set up for the new semester, and having to send MidE back to his father.

It has been a good time.

Welcome to the New Year. I know this year is going to be a great one.