A week and a few days ago, LilE had a few problems with AK. These problems were to the point he was avoiding going anywhere he thought AK would be. I allowed him a few days to adjust to his own thoughts and such. After giving him his space I was able to talk with him about expectations, reality and standing ones ground so as not to be walked over, or treated in such a way that he feels he has no options.
On Sunday, I took him around some of the kids he would see at the Mix and possibly interact with and I also knew that AK wouldn’t be there.
LilE went, spent time with a few other kids and enjoyed himself. He spent a few other times with some other kids because part of his putting up with AK is because he feels like he has no other friends and he starts feeling bad about the things AK bags on him for.
I also talked with one of the adults that keeps an eye on the kids at The Mix and asked for just a few extra eyes on LilE when AK is around and just not look but to take in what he sees of the interaction.
FF to Wed night. The Mix night.
LilE made a point to run ahead of me and get into The Mix so I didn’t check him in. I went off and did my thing.
When I got back, LilE was nowhere to be found but I did talke with the adult I had talked with before. He commented that he saw LilE pick up his things up and move a few tables away from AK. This happened several times.
LilE finally came out and we drove home. I left him alone till he wanted to talk… when he talked he did.
He said he got in early, picked the table he wanted to hang out with his friends at. Slowly the other kids came in, AK was the last of his friends.
The other kids came hung out and went of to do other things and then would come back. AK showed up when LilE and 2 other kids were talking. AK told those kids to get lost they were in HIS spot. So those kids including LilE got up and moved a few tables away.
AK sat surprised for a little bit and then moved over to the other table when the other kids went off to do other things.
LilE stayed and chatted with AK till he started being rude so LilE got up and moved back to the first table.
AK followed and asked him why he got up….
LilE responded, “I am giving up drama queens for lent!”
AK seemed stunned then asked why LilE said that.
LilE explained that AK’s behavior was inappropriate. Pulling his hair (AK pulling LilE’s hair) was inappropriate and not fun.
AK said his sisters do it to him all the time and he found it playful.
LilE then said he didn’t want to be called an idiot or stupid anymore and wasn’t going to put up with is.
AK said he was just being silly and not to get so bent out of shape over that.
LilE brought up several other things that AK did which he “explained away” .
By the end of the night LilE was willing to allow AK to sit around him but he would move when AK would pull other “stunts” and LilE spend time with the other kids he is becoming friends with. AK was more than asked to do things with them but refused.
When LilE was done telling me about his night I asked him if he accepted the explanations. He said while he doesn’t believe what AK said, but he was not wanting to exclude anyone. He wants to still be friend with AK because they are on the same level and like somethings the other kids don’t like but he wants to have new friends so that AK knows he doesn’t have to put up with crap from him.
My LilEGGO gave up Drama Queens for Lent.