October 22, 2014

  • This has been a hard and whirlwind sort of month. The hard part was financially related. The rest of the month sweeping by so fast has been a blessing in some ways. Time marches on.

    I have been mentoring a few ladies to help them choose wisely in some of the life choices they have. Not that I know anything more than they do but I think we all, at times, need someone to listen who is either going through something similar to been through what you are. So I am out helping as much as I can. It helps that I can understand and have been in similar situations.

    In other news kids are well.

October 5, 2014

  • silly me...

    The other day, BigE, WahE and I went out to eat dinner at our favorite Japanese place. We eat there frequently enough that we are on friendly terms with the owners. We had eaten the food, enjoyed a few minutes relaxing as well as having a good conversation. WahE got a little antsy and needed to move around. He got up. I thought I saw him going to the restroom. We got up to leave so as to not have WahE disturb the others around. I was walking slow. BigE on the other hand was walking faster and chiding me for not walking faster. I asked if WahE was outside or where and He responded. As I walked by the owner (MrsI) and said, "See you next time, I lov.. I'll See you later!" I got to the door and BigE was laughing. He asked, "Did you just say what I think you did? Did you just tell MrsI that you loved her?"

    Sadly, yes I did. I almost said "I LOVE YOU." to my favorite Japanese restaurant owner/server.

    Silly Me.

October 3, 2014

  • floored

    Just found out a kid (27yo) I know has been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. He found out that a few weeks after the surgery to remove the cancer tumor it has metastasized. It is now in his liver, lungs and possibly his bones. They now have him on a final stage way of getting rid of it. If this doesn't work then he will just live till it claims his life. I feel so much for his girlfriend and family. Those that are closest to him seem to be walking around in a haze, but Ax he is running around enjoying life and having fun. He is living life to the fullest which is no different than he ever lived. I am so inspired by him. I hope I can live life and do those things I have always wanted to.

September 25, 2014

  • sigh...

    today I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I have been such a grumpy grump. I think I need to just go back to bed and get some shut eye.


September 23, 2014

  • What does a neighbor do?

    I am old fashioned. I believe one should know their neighbors, be polite and when you notice a neighbor is in a hard time you help them out, encourage them and even lend a hand when possible.

    This is the way I am trying to raise my kids.

    A month ago, or less, a neighbor's house was broken into. They destroyed her (my neighbor Tink) back yard. They jumped the fence, destroyed her neatly organized recyclables she collects to turn in when school is out as she is a teacher. It helps when times are hard. So being the lovable kid I raised BigE and WahE wanted to help her out so decided to help. Just after BigE said he would help his job changed and his hours increased so he didn't have the time to help out. WahE was working to organize and I pitched in to help. We recycled and gave Tink's daughter (who is 8) the money because she had her piggy bank stolen.

    Before we were half way done getting the recyclables into bags to take, someone came back again and took the 9 bags that were filled. WahE and I stepped up the work and got it all out and recycled before they could come back again. The thieves got away with $30 worth of recyclables.

    She has been trying to get her house fixed since they broke through her sliding glass doors in the back. The HOA is telling her she can't do this and thats and they haven't approved of some of the exterior work. She is SUPPOSED to submit paper work. So off to the HOA meeting I went with E's help. We talked with them and found out they don't have a problem with the work it is only one person that has a problem with the work. I silly, mean, old, bitter woman. She is the one we have had problems with since moving in. Everyone else told Tink to do the work and that is that.

    So that was 2 weeks ago.

    Last night she came home and was in tears.

    Being that I have been helping her by meeting her when she comes home and going around her house to make sure nothing is out of place, I clearly noticed that she was not doing ok.

    So naturally, I asked her what was going on.

    She just found out that her best teaching friend. The one that works in the class across from hers. The one when she is having a difficult day she looks over and gets a smile from to help her out....she passed away from cancer.

    So tonight, I went over as she was coming home as usual. I had tidied up her back seat so we could just relax and breathe. And spent 2 minutes just doing that.

    She will be ok.

    She just seems so surprised that I am willing to help and do anything I can to make it better for her and let her go little by little.

    She is doing better with the fear. When I started helping out. I was the one that walked around. Then I suggested she walk around with me. Then I walk to the side and she walks around by herself while I kept her in sight. Now ,  I just meet the car, she gets out and walks around on her own. And I only do it if it is dark if it is light I sit by my garage and watch her as she gets into the house.


September 22, 2014

  • Coffee and other things that are related...

    I purchase Trader Joe's  cold-brewed coffee. It is one of my weaknesses. I love iced or blended coffee (depending on my mood) To make it easier to make a blended coffee, I mix the coffee with the right amount of sugar and hazelnut flavor so all I have to do is pour  a bit in the blender with or over ice and add milk or water. I have been using a Nestles chocolate milk bottle to keep it in. One bottle makes about 8 cups of coffee. I also, for the sake of being able to say that I had tried it bought the girl scout cookie milk it is made by Nestles. It comes in the same bottle as mentioned above.

    On Thursday, I purchased both the coffee and a bottle of each milk flavor to try with the kids. I got home, opened a bottle and shared with BigE, WahE and LilE asked if he could have some later. I said he could when he ate  a good meal.  I also mixed up the coffee, one line in the bottle is about a full cup of coffee when diluted to normal strength, and used a cup worth.

    Lile forgot to have his flavored milk on Thursday so for lunch he asked if he could have his share. I told him he could.

    He loves to sip his flavored drinks to make it last longer. So  sip away he did.

    That night he went to bed and no matter what he did he couldn't sleep. I was frustrated to no end because if he doesn't sleep this means I don't get much sleep either. To make sure that this didn't happen again Saturday night I woke him up early on Saturday.

    As the day wore on I could tell he wouldn't last the day without trying to nap. So I dragged him out shopping with me. We were gone for about 3 hours, I did make it fun and we had a meal out together at his favorite burger place. We got home at almost 5pm.  As he was walking by the daily calendar he realized what day it was and that he was at 5:30 supposed to go to a friend's birthday party. Back in the car we jumped and got him there in time. As I was dropping him off I asked the parent when to pick him up. I was told midnight. She was serious on midnight being the cut off time as she had to work the next evening and was busy the whole morning as well.

    I asked if it could be earlier and she told me they were planning on a movie and it would get out after 10 so any time after they got back.

    FFW to 11.

    I went to pick LilE up.

    When I arrived the mother invited me in and asked if LilE could stay till all the gifts were open. So we went off to chat while the kids did what kids do.

    When they were all open LilE asked if I would stay till the other boys' parents showed up, Birthday Girl's Mom (BGM), encouraged me to as well. So I agreed.

    We chatted, kids played (I guess I should say TEENS not kids and they didn't PLAY. I am being told TEENS don't PLAY they HANG) Teens hung out. The first boy's mom showed up. It was 1. Now remember the mother was wanting and not just wanting but firm on the time for pick up being 12. As the girls were getting ready for their sleep over, LilE and the boy remaining are good friends, she asked if I could stay till the other mom showed up so the boys could entertain themselves leaving the girls to settle down.
    Figuring that it would just be a few minutes later, I  agreed.

    1:30ish Mom#2 arrived.

    She came in, settled down and chatted. And chatted. And chatted. BGM  walked to the front door being that mom # 2 was there I went to leave, AND COULDN'T, mom #2 had fully blocked my car. So I commented about this, hoping it would hurry the conversation up, by this time it was 2:15. Mom #2 went to check her cell phone for some info she was wanting to get to both of us only to find she couldn't find her cell phone. UGH. :-)

    Back into the house she went. Retracing her steps. She still couldn't find her cell phone. BGM handed her house phone so she cold call the cell only to find that the #3 didn't dial and Mom #2's number has 3 in it. :-D

    Down to my car I went, grabbed my phone, thinking she probably left her phone in the car I had LiE and Boy stand by her car, and had her call it. The boys ran up and reported that in fact she HAD left the phone in the car. So back to the cars we walked.

    2 steps chatter chatter chatter. 4 steps. Pause turn chatter chatter. 2 steps chatter chatter......etc.

    At 2:40 am. I started my car, waited 5 minutes and she finally drove off. BGM. Walked back to my car, thanked me for being there the whole time, the only reason Mom #2 left before 4 was because I was there to "RUSH" her out.

    I arrived home and thought I would have a small cup of coffee only to find, LilE on Friday had drank the whole bottle of my coffee minus  the 1 cup and had left the milk.

    He did get some sleep but I had him up by 9:30 am.


September 20, 2014

  • And it continues....

    Yes, life continues not only on, but getting in the way of my posting.

    Let me see, kids are supposed to start doing school work but are refusing....so I am getting them prepared to go to a public school. This will be a first for me. I am hoping to find a good one that I know teachers at. I wish that I could put them in different schools but we will see. Sadly, this is after cramming the last few months in getting their school work set up for them to do. This is getting harder and harder. With them going into school it is opening my schedule for me to start writing and illustrating the books that I have put on hold for quite some time. I also have some volunteer work I am going to be doing at least once a month. We will see what happens nothing is penned in yet.

    On the kid front I am struggling to let go of my 18 yo. Now that he is 18 his father has told me I have no rights and My MidE hasn't been able to contact me because of being grounded. Seriously he is 18 "grounding" shouldn't ever happen now.


    BigE has been moved to the meat department. He doesn't like it. He has never liked touching meat. And he is finding he like s being able to move around a bit more freely. In his old position he would walk around the store and replace things to where they belong. Now he can't roam or help people find what they need "hands on". This has the whole front managers trying to find someone to be as helpful as he was. The main store manager has told me he is grooming BIGE for a manager position. So he has to stay where he is for 3 months then he will be moved to another area. There for 3 then on to a final area before they can train him for management.  The store has 2 managers that are wanting to retire in 2 or 3 years.

    LilE is doing better he spends less time wanting to be a jerk and more time trying to get along with all of the family. He is glad he is going to see a MFCC and he is finally talking and not avoiding. Each week they ask me what I see as an issue and then they work on the things that have caused problems during the weeks. THIS has been a Godsend. I am happy to report he is back to drawing and creating. He is laughing again and doing well.

    WahE is starting to try and act up. I guess he things he needs counseling as well. If I could afford it I would take all of us. Sadly, this is something that needs addressing nation wide. For me to take my kid each week costs $25 copay each time, per person. If it wasn't so expensive then more people would get the help they need.

    And on top of all of this, I have a single mom neighbor that had her house broken into 2 times in 2 weeks. First time rattled her so bad she is so afraid of everything the second time has made it so my kids and I meet her when she comes home. We walk around her house with her and check inside, then she goes in and locks all the doors. Then we leave. If she hears anything during the night I get up and go check it out so that she can relax. She is getting better and better. We have planted around the areas she has people jumping

    So life is busy, and good.

    Sorry I haven't posted we had to turn off all electronics for a while because it was over 100 for a few weeks and we still don't have a working ac unit. IT was touch and go for a few days with me. I almost had to go to hospital but was able to self maintain and now am better. Heat is not good with me.

August 30, 2014

  • Egads....

    Life just keeps speeding by. It also helps that I have a car to speed along with it :-)

    Sadly after owning a car for 1 week someone decieded that the red stop light was a great place to tap her toes and she missed stopping behind me and hit the rear of my car. Fortunately for me all the work will be payed for by her company. As well as my chiro bill. I have had a headache since the accident.

    In other news, kids are starting up doing school work again.

    On top of that we have had a rash of robberies since Dec. In total we have had 12 in our area of 36 houses. On top of that 2 have been my friends so we are working hard to get her house fixed and bars so that she can feel safe again. She is a single parent of a 7 year old girl. The dirt bags stole he daughters college fund bank (they safe money in it till it is full then take it to the bank) her money she had just taken out for going to Disneyland and they stole all my friends rings and well anything that looked like it might be worth money.

    A few kids in the area have gotten together to take all the recyclables and give all the money to the little girl.

    It is moments like these that I am able to see how amazing people can be.

August 15, 2014

  • Day 1 of real car shopping....

    Yes, I said it, after 6+ years of having to use others' cars, I am in the market to get my own car.

    I went to Mini Cooper of Mira Mesa, to look at a Pontiac Vibe (not that I was wanting it but E was insisting it was everything I was wanting) to stand around for over an hour only to find they really didn't want to sell any of their cars. We finally left after 1 hour and 21 minutes. So we moved on.

    Next we went to Hertz rental car sales lot. This is where they take the cars they are retiring and sell them for a high price. They can do this because they keep their cars very carefully. Sadly, all they had were Toyota cars I didn't want, vw's that didn't fit my needs, Nissan's that were either not enough room in the legs or not enough room in the width. I drove even a Hyundai. Happily I didn't buy. I just knew in my knower that they were't right for me. People keep telling me that I am going to have to settle with what is available and I keep telling them that I am not settling I am sure I will find what will fit my needs.

August 4, 2014

  • Summer Postings....

    I have tried and tried to sit down to write an update on life here only to be stopped each and every time. Till now....

    My summer. By ME

    At the beginning of the summer my MidE came home for a month and a half. What a great time.

    When he was here 2 weeks we traveled to spend 10 days with my parents. It was a hard time. My father, who is one of the funniest people I know has not aged well. My father has had several ( at least 10) brain surgeries. When he would be in the recovery rooms the nurses would fight over who got to attend him because he would crack jokes and laugh and make their days so much better because he was a great guy. Well this great guy has become stubborn. He won't listen to advise from others that have adapted to the whole aging thing and he is just surly and takes it out on everyone else. My mother the enabler keeps making excuses for him and helping him keep up with the stubbornness.


    I almost left early because of his actions which scared my younger kids. MidE is one of those kids that doesn't really pay attention to what is going on around unless it interests him. So negative or not  he just didn't know it was happening. But I stayed and kept the kids occupied away from my father till he could got over his limitations and accept them and then move on with life and be happy. He was a grumpy grump.

    We had time with other family at this point. I talked with a few people that my father admires and even listens to so they had an idea of what was going on and cold talk with him when they had the chance. I even told him that the kids and I were wanting to leave because he was throwing a tantrum and we didn't like it. And we wanted him to not "Just get over it" but to learn how to work around his limitations.
    I hope that helps him.

    We got home and had a few more weeks of fun. Eating  at our favorite places, going to a few places we liked and even Nintendo Street Pass San Diego. Then too soon for me my boy left and went to time to adjust to being without my boy.

    A few weeks later, LilE went to NTS Camp for  a week. It was a blessing to have him gone. He has been so preteen hormonal. It has been quite irritating. So a week of him gone has been quiet and nice.

    I was able to spend a week with just WahE and when he wasn't working BigE. So we had a blast. We watched videos that we have wanted to watch together. We played games we ran about and had fun. It was a great week.

    Now he is home. He has been up till today. Prior to today he has been loving caring glad to be home. If he was asked to do something he did it willingly. He played nicely with each of the other kids and has been such a joy. He realized while away  how we respect each other and those kids at camp didn't treat anyone with respect so he is happy to be home.

    As for me, I am struggling to try and get a car so I can get out of the house more than when E will let me have the car. I have made some friendships with some of my neighbors and that is nice but everything I do is in my house or around my house and I am not used to or like to be bound to the house with no way out.

    I have also been saving to find a house that I can move to with the kids to get them into a good school. We know a good area at it is near most of the things I need and use, grocery stores, target, play areas, and many other things I frequent.

    I have been learning in spite of our circumstances to be contented in all things. This has made E  question why I want to move since I am so happy here. (At this comment I rolled my eyes at him and said something along the lines of Seriously?! wow how could you not know I don't like it here!?!?! I thought for the last 6 years I had made it clear I didn't want to live in this area or in this house.

    The good news is  I finally got a replacement washer. So instead of washing my laundry (as much as possible) in the tub by hand or at the laundry mat (way too expensive) I was gifted a washer. It is a full sized washer so I can now wash and dry laundry in my house. Such a blessing.

    I am now leading a women's group and have been asked to plan a new study for women going through similar things that I am so we can come out the other side less damaged from those things that are there to cause harm emotionally.

    I AM good. I am happy with my kids and I am filled with contentment with my situation. I will learn as much as I can and move on to the next chapter in my life with as much grace as I can so I can pass on a legacy of overcoming and not being a product of life's crap. Live above our situations with as much love and life as possible. That is my goal right now.